Men Just Won't Stop Kissing Me

It began slowly, but now it’s getting out of hand.  I haven’t had this many men kiss me since I was a baby - and a very adorable one, I might add.

It started with Christian when we first arrived here.  I still had a cast on my broken wrist so we couldn’t shake hands.   So instead it was the usual three kisses on the cheek, left-right-left.

Then I got the kisses from Mathias when I saw him.  Then from Jean-Eric.  Ok, we’ve been friends for a long time so that was ok.

But when Didier kissed me, I thought I should be worried.  Then I realized that no, we’ve been friends for a long time, too.  Maybe we were just taking our relationship to a new level.

When Maxime kissed me, the alarm bells went off.  Yes, he’s a super friendly guy and all,  and it was at the end of a many-bottles-of-wine apero, but still. 

Then last night it was Philippe.  He’s usually standoffish but when I went to shake hands he pulled me in for a good Provençal three-cheeker.  What the heck is going on?

I know that it’s customary for male friends here in the South to kiss each other.  And yes, I’m friends with everyone who has kissed me.  But could there be something more?

Maybe they think I’m French!

After all, my knowledge of French wine is excellent.  And I have several scarves that I know how to wear in an elegant yet manly way.  And I can complain about French politicians with the best of them.

But on the other hand, I can eat neither French bread nor French cheese.  I think that disqualifies me.

Whatever it is, I’ve become irresistible to men.

This could cause big problems at my next fraternity reunion.

KVS