Developing My Subtle French Side

Val decided that we need to work on our grammar, so for the last three weeks we have been studying the subjonctif tense in our French class. You use it instead of the regular indicatif tense when there is a “sense of doubt.”  It’s a subtle thing, very French.  I’m pretty sure they use it in those movies I never understand.

I decided I should test my knowledge before our first class, so I found an online quiz of 25 questions.  For each one I got a sentence and had to decide whether to use the indicatif or subjonctif. 

That meant that all I had to do was choose between A and B.  Even a complete moron could just flip a coin and get 12 or 13 right.

I got 13. 

So I studied hard in our first class, asked my usual penetrating questions, then took a new quiz.

I got 14.  

In our next class, I explained my dismal results and showed the teacher the questions.  My spirits were buoyed when she told me that the questions were stupid and were probably written by an American (true). 

But then she said that I still should have gotten at least 20.  Sheesh.

So I hunted around and found a website that gave a good explanation of how this damned tense works.  I was intrigued by how specific it was about this whole “sense of doubt” business. 

According to the site, if you are more than 70% sure something is going to happen, you should use the indicatif.  Less than 70% and you’ve got that doubt thing going on, so it’s time for the subjonctif. 

Think about it.  This means that every French person is doing advanced probabilistic calculations in their head at the same time they are talking.  What mental powers! Maybe that explains all those Olympic gold medals in Team Handball.

Armed with this knowledge, I took a new quiz and scored 20. Chouette!

I then started thinking about how the “sense of doubt” can be applied in real life.  I remembered how whenever Val and I go canoeing, she says that she is going to let me steer.  She says, “Yes, you will steer.” That's a very definitive statement, there's not even a shadow of a doubt.  It certainly calls for the indicatif.

Then, after about five minutes of canoeing, Val is overtaken by a mad lust for power and starts steering, at which point we are both steering and the canoe tips over.

I realize now that whenever she says that I will steer, she really should use the subjonctif.

KVS